regrets and what could've beens
by MissingMommy
Summary: The Fates have always been cruel to demigods. Or Thalia and Luke finally get their closer a millennia later. :: implied!Thalia/Luke, for Lexi


For Lexi. Enjoy

* * *

Thalia's been in this moment once before; a long, long time ago, back when she didn't have immortality, when it was just her, Luke, and Annabeth trying to make it to safety. Her father had taken pity on her and turned her into a tree to protect her friends. There is no pity in Artemis' eyes as she looks down at her lieutenant.

"I don't want to be turned into a constellation," Thalia manages. "I want Elysium. I want peace."

The poison is burning through her veins. But the pain is worth it in the end; it saved the newest recruit, who had been too clumsy to move out of the enemy's way. Thalia shoved her away just in time to get punctured in her left shoulder. The arrow is too close to her heart, and the poison spread too quickly for Phoebe to save her.

Artemis nods in understanding. "Then have peace, Thalia Grace."

Thalia closes her eyes and inhales. When she exhales and opens her eyes, she is standing in the Underworld, in front of the three gates. She heard about Annabeth and Percy's trip to the Underworld when she was still a mortal demigod. There is nothing that amounts to seeing it in person though.

She opts for the ATTENDANT ON DUTY line to the left. The line is slow going but eventually, she stands in front of three judges.

"We are the Judges for this day," the woman on the left says, with a thick accent. "I am Margaretha Geertruida Zelle, better known as Mata Hari, daughter of Athena." Thalia wouldn't have expected it because Mata was as beautiful as one of the children of Aphrodite.

Mata looks to the man to her right. He's heavy set, with a top hat that Thalia knows went out of fashion a millennium ago, and a cigar in his hand. "Winston Churchill, son of Zeus, at your service," he says.

"I am Harriet Tubman, daughter of Hermes." The woman to his right is dark skinned and bright eyed. Her eyes gave her away long before she spoke her name; they were just too much like Luke for Harriet not to share a father.

She rolls her shoulder and straightens her back, standing proudly in front of them, her tiara shining atop her dark hair. "Thalia Grace," she announces. "Daughter of Zeus. Hunter of Artemis."

The three judges stand. They bow their heads. "Then we grant you Elysium, sister," Churchill says, he motions to the exit behind the judge's seats. "You have earned peace."

Thalia doesn't move. "That's it? No questions; no life stories. Just - here, have peace."

Mata gives her an enchanting smile. It makes Thalia question her godly parent further. "After the war with Kronos, Artemis and Hades came to an agreement about all Hunters that come for Judgement. You're to receive Elysium if you chose not to watch over the world."

"Thank you," Thalia says sincerely. She moves to the exit behind their seats. The path to Elysium is beautiful. The gate opens and she smells burgers and fries, her favorite comfort meal. There are rows and rows of houses from every time period. Everything seems so brighter and more beautiful than she could've imagined.

She's barely a few steps inside the gate when she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns around. Standing before her is Luke. He looks exactly like she remembers him - blond hair and an air of arrogance. There's a scar that lines his face, one that she's only seen once before.

"I thought you would've ended up in Asphodel Fields," Thalia says.

The corner of his mouth upturns slightly. "It took the Judges an hour to decide," Luke answers. "I was expecting worse, but they decided I could come to Elysium for doing the right thing in the end and sacrificing myself."

"That was -"

"A long time ago," Luke interrupts. "I know."

"You could've been reborn by now," Thalia states. "Why haven't you?"

"I thought about it, but I was waiting," Luke replies.

"For what?"

"You," he says simply. "I didn't want to be reborn until I saw you."

Thalia gives him an incredulous look. "I took the Hunters' oath which gave me immortality. I'm sure that Annabeth told you that when -"

"She came to Elysium?" Luke finishes. He nods. "She did. We talked while she waited for Percy. They chose to be reborn."

She taps her fingers against her thigh in annoyance. "You knew and you still waited," she says incredulously.

"I wanted to talk to you," he says. "The last time we saw each other, you pushed me over a cliff."

She takes a deep breath. "You waited all this time to talk with me?"

He smiles. It makes the scar on his face vanish. "I just couldn't have a different life without explaining everything to you. You deserved it more than anyone else and I wanted to give you that before I lost these memories."

"You poisoned my tree," Thalia says, crossing her arms. Her anger flares inside of her. She briefly wonders if she could still use her powers down here. "You poisoned the one place I truly felt at peace."

"I didn't want to," Luke responds, his voice soft and sad. "I was so far under Kronos' control at that point that it didn't matter what I wanted. But it ended well; the Fleece gave you your body back. I assume Kronos knew that the Fleece would bring you back when he ordered me to poison your tree. He wanted to use you."

She narrows her eyes. "Did you ever think that I didn't want to be a person again? Did you ever think that I was content being the tree? Because I wasn't a pawn for anyone to use anymore." She can't keep the anger out of her voice.

"No," he answers truthfully, "I didn't. I'm sorry for everything."

There's a long pause as Thalia closes her eyes. Luke looks at the Isle of the Blessed. And then back at her. She looks exactly how he remembers her, except the silver tiara upon her head. "Did you ever regret giving Annabeth and me time to get across the boundaries?"

"No," Thalia answers immediately. "Meeting you and Annabeth was a blessing. But being turned into tree was another one."

Luke frowns. "You don't believe that," he says.

She laughs; it sounds like bells. Luke doesn't remember the last time he's heard her laugh. "I was so angry and bitter at my dad and my mom. I would've made all the wrong choices if I would've survived," she answers. "I know I would've been the demigod who would've destroyed Olympus because I was angry at my dad. And I didn't want to be that type of person."

Her hair is longer than when they were roaming the streets, protecting themselves and Annabeth, just long enough to fall into her electric blue eyes. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "I almost did destroy Olympus. When your dad turned you into that tree, I was so angry. I blamed the gods, and I blamed myself. I should've fought with you."

"It wouldn't have changed anything," she whispers. "There were too many of them. You would've died with me and who knows if my dad would've turned me into that tree if you did. We probably would've just died together."

"It would've been better," Luke says. "To die beside you instead of regretting running away. Because I did regret it; every day. I loved you, and I left you to die."

She laughs again, but this time it sounds like a strangled sob. "Look at us," she manages, "burdened by what could have been." Her eyes are misty. "Do you ever wish we never would've went to Camp Halfblood, that we just kept protecting each other on the street?"

He nods. "It wouldn't have been easier, but perhaps it would've been better. Just the three of us. Surviving together. I don't think we would've lasted much longer."

"I thought about it all the time when I was with the Hunters," she admits quietly. "Especially when I first joined, right after I pushed you off that cliff. I was so angry because I wanted to join you. It had been years and you still knew exactly what to say to make the offer so tempting, but I looked at you and I saw what I would've become had I not been turned into that tree. You weren't the person I had loved. I never hated the Fates more than I did at that moment."

He pulls her into a hug. She hasn't hugged another boy since she hugged Percy, when she was helping defend Manhattan from Kronos, a long time ago. But her body fits against him just as she remembers. One hand is around her waist and the other is holding the back of her head as she buries her face against his chest. His head is resting on top of hers, on top of the tiara, but he doesn't seem to mind. He smells like he used to - dirt roads and fresh air. She can also smell death on him.

"The Fates have always been cruel to demigods," he whispers into her hair. "But maybe next life, we can get it right."

She pulls back from him. "I hope we meet in the next life, Luke. I truly do." She takes his hand in hers. "I think it's time that both of us are reborn. We've spent far too long in the past."

The feel of his hand in hers and his smile are the last things that Thalia sees before she is reborn into a new life.


End file.
